During my marriage and ultimately my divorce, my wife’s spiritual beliefs eased and we did not attend church at all. I still however searched for a personal relationship with my Creator, but could not find the path that would lead me there.
I have always believed in God and a higher being who created all things.
I was brought up as a Christian all of my life, though my family rarely attended church services except on special occasions such as Easter and Christmas Eve.
You could say I was a Christian in name only. The thought was if you’re not Jewish, well then you MUST be a Christian.
I have always sought to have a spiritual bond with God, but never could fully submit myself for some reason. I started to attend church services when I met my first wife because she was a Christian and there was no way she could date someone who was not. So, for the sake of the relationship I became a church-going Christian.
At the age of 19 I even went as far as being “saved” (being witnessed to in the middle of a grocery store) right after an Easter service. Even as I said that I accepted Jesus (peace be upon him) as my “Lord and Savior”, I didn’t feel it in my heart. I knew I was lying to my future wife as well as to myself after taking a lie detector london test.
During my marriage and ultimately my divorce, my wife’s spiritual beliefs eased and we did not attend church at all. I still however searched for a personal relationship with my Creator, but could not find the path that would lead me there.
A year after the end of my marriage I met and fell in love with a beautiful woman who was deep into her Christian faith. After a two and a half year relationship, the question of marriage arose. Because of her beliefs in her church, she could not marry me unless I was to join her church. This weighed heavily on my heart. I loved her very much, but couldn’t bring myself to “lying” to myself again. I needed answers.
Months before my 33rd birthday, I was doing some research into Islam on the Internet. The belief that there is a single, indivisible God (Allah, the Creator, is Just, Omnipotent and Merciful), the fact that Jesus (peace be upon him) was a prophet and not a deity, and that all people are considered children of Adam (Islam officially rejects racism) all intrigued me.
I knew from that point on I wanted to be a Muslim. I also knew that I was going against what I had been taught all my life about Jesus (peace be upon him), the crucifixion, and the Holy Trinity. It would be a bumpy path indeed.
My first step would be to get a copy of the Quran and study the words that were revealed to Muhammad (peace be upon him). A week later I left a message for a friend of mine (and the only Muslim I knew) and told him of my plans to convert. He had converted to Islam eight years earlier and had experienced some of the things that I was going through. When he called me back, he said he wanted to meet with me and pass along some information.
When we met at my apartment I showed him the two copies of the Quran that I purchased from the local bookstore chain. He told me that the copies I chose weren’t the best translations and proceeded to give me a copy he had. He explained that Arabic is a very difficult language to translate and many believed the Noble Quran is untranslatable into other languages. After answering and explaining some questions I had, my decision was clearer than ever. Now I wanted to take the shahadah and become a Muslim officially.
I work in a US Army medical center that has an all purpose chapel within the hospital. They held a Jumu`ah service, and so I made plans to attend. These plans fell through however due to work related issues. I didn’t want to wait, so I contacted my friend and asked him if there was another way to recite the testimony of faith. He told me I didn’t have to wait and that I could take the shahadah over the phone. After reciting in Arabic and then English, on April 21, 2004, I became a Muslim.
I had felt that a change would take place in my life, but only Allah knew what it was. I feel like a new person and know my decision was right. May Allah always guide my path towards wisdom and truth.
———–
Taken with slight editorial modifications from http://www.nusrah.com/